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by jarhead_marine (jarhead_marine)
at September 4th, 2005 (10:51 pm)

McMurphy's Tavern
0230 ZULU

I walk into McMurphy's, the place of so many of my revelations, and look around. Harm is not with me, I am alone in this. He had to pick up Mattie and thought that it would be better if I conquered this alone. He told me to figure things out and then come to him when I've decided what's important to me. I love Harm so much, he's been there for me for ten years, through every heartbreak and every downfall. But Fox, Fox was the first man I truly fell in love with. He was the one who forced me to dry out and the first man to love me for every part of me. We had fallen in love so fast and he proposed a month after he met me, it took Harm ten years. I love them both and now, how am I to decide?

I finally see Fox and Dana sitting in a both at the end of the bar. Taking a deep breath, I folded my hands in front of my stomach, and made my way towards them. The look I am getting from Dana is a look that could kill and my head begins to hurt as I think of her blow. But I saw the look in her eyes when I kissed Fox, obviously her man. And I feel guilty, but I love him, and couldn't help but indulge myself.

"Fox..." I murmur as I step up to the table.

Comments

Posted by: jarhead_marine (jarhead_marine)
Posted at: September 5th, 2005 05:46 am (UTC)

Grabbing the rest of my clothes, I hurriedly dressed, much to Fox's disappointment apparently, because he never took his eyes off of me. Grabbing my purse and my jacket, I stepped over, laid a hand on Fox's forearm and kissed his cheek. "Talk to her, explain things, and give me a call later." Handing him my business card, I stepped around him and over the poor hopeless ball in the floor. "Sarah..." Fox called after me. I slowly turned. "You ought to talk to Harm too, he's going to need to know." I nodded and dropped my head. That was a conversation that I'd rather not have. As I shut the door behind me, I saw Fox kneel beside Dana and pull her over into his lap, rocking back and forth with her and kissing her forehead. And every cell in my body urged to be in those arms once more.

Posted by: Fox Mulder (danasspooky)
Posted at: September 5th, 2005 05:59 am (UTC)

*I watched Sarah leave, a little disappointed, but I knew we still had things to take care of before we could continue. I walked over to Scully sat down beside her, pulling her into my lap and rocking her back and forth comfortingly. I kissed her forehead. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, nor what I am going to do. Inside I am so conflicted, my emotions are warring with themselves. I love her so much, but I also still have feelings for Sarah. I can't be with Scully when I know those feelings are still running rampant through me, it isn't fair to her, to either of us. I continue to sit there, just holding her and rocking her back and forth, letting out a deep sigh of my own as she sobs into my bare chest. What the hell am I going to do now?*

Posted by: Dana Katherine Scully (spookysdana)
Posted at: September 5th, 2005 06:05 am (UTC)

*When she finally leaves, I almost wish I could just shrivel up into a ball and disappear. The last thing I want right now is to be left alone in a room with him. I then feel him come to me and kneel by me, taking me into his arms. I have no choice but to comply as I curl helplessly into his embrace, for what will probably be one of the last times. I can't believe I'm losing him. Never in a million years would I have thought anything like this would have happened. After a while, I pull back and look up at him miserably.* "This is over, isn't it? I mean you pretty much showed it by bringing her back to your apartment!" *I spat the words at him as I suddenly realized how close I was to him and suddenly pushed out of his embrace.* "I mean we're not even officially broken up and you already sleep with her! Do you know how much that hurts?!" *I look down at him, tears streaming down my cheeks.* "I never expected this, Mulder...not from you..."

Posted by: Fox Mulder (danasspooky)
Posted at: September 5th, 2005 06:10 am (UTC)

"I'm sorry Scully, that's not why I brought her back here. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, it just...did. And for that I am truly sorry. But Dana, I won't know that what we have together is real unless I explore my relationship for her first. You don't want me to have any doubts about this, about us, do you?" *I looked up at her, realized she would probably never understand why I had to do this, but I had to do it nonetheless.* "I'm sorry Dana, I never meant to hurt you, this was the last thing I ever expected to happen. I know you can't understand, but please, just give me some time to see this through. If you can't wait for me, I'll understand. But I want you to know that I do love you. I love you Dana." *I finished in barely a whisper, knowing that she would hate me now and probably never forgive me, and for that I was truly sorry.*

Posted by: Dana Katherine Scully (spookysdana)
Posted at: September 5th, 2005 06:15 am (UTC)

*Scully closed her eyes and brought her hand up to try and catch the tears that still continued to fall down her cheeks. She looked back up at him, through her tearful gaze as she said mournfully.* "I'm sorry, I don't...I can't make any judgement of all this right now. I'm still way too fragile and my emotions are still raw. I'm going to need...some time. I'm going to ask for a transfer, Mulder. I'm going to go back to Quantico, it would just be far too painful for me to continue working with you. I hope you understand, this." *She moved to him and reached to kiss his cheek.* "Until we meet again, goodbye Fox Mulder."

Posted by: Fox Mulder (danasspooky)
Posted at: September 5th, 2005 06:19 am (UTC)

*It broke my heart to watch her go, and it was tearing me up inside that I did this to her, but it had to be. I understood completely that she needed to get away from me, and I didn't blame her one bit. Time away from one another would do us both some good, no matter how much it hurt, I knew it was the only real solution. I whispered softly.* "I understand Scully. Goodbye." *I said nothing more, just let her kiss my cheek and walk away, watching her walk out my door, and possibly my life, forever.*

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