JAG HQ1100 ZULUHarm sticks his head in the doorway and smiles. "Hey, you ready to go to lunch." I nod and close a file on a new case I'm working on, finally glad to have something different than that damned ex-FBI agent file."Yeah, just let me close stuff up here." I close all the open windows on my computer and stand up. But a pain shoots through my back. I lean over towards my desk, grabbing it, and my face shows the pain. Harm, being the man he is, rushes towards me."You okay?" I nod."Yeah, I just uh... I stood up too fast.""You're full of it Mac. It's the endometriosis, isn't it? When was your last doctor's appointment?" I laugh and meet his eyes."Mom, I'm fine. Okay? My last appointment was three months ago, I just stood up too fast. I'm fine, really." I stand up straight and the pain is gone. But I'm instantly worried. I had surgery, they fixed what had happened, or somewhat at least, and say that if Harm and I decide to make the step to parenthood, he could donate sperm and they could extract my eggs and mix them, then put them back in me, and we might possibly be able to make a baby. I don't want my option gone, but anymore, I wonder if Harm even wants a child. He hasn't mentioned it or even said anything about it. And that surprises me.When we get in the car, he pulls out and as we're driving, lays his hand over mine on my thigh and looks over at me. "Mac, I want to ask you something." And then I realize it's coming. "Do you still want children?" I turn and look at him."Of course I do Harm. I've always wanted children, you know that. It's just, I don't know, Chloe has been going through some rough stuff lately and has been confiding in me and of course, Mattie is like my own child, and well, I just haven't really thought about having my own in a while.""But you still want one?""Yeah, I do." I whisper, picking up his hand and laying a gentle kiss on the back of it."Do you want to try?" I sigh and look out the windshield."I just don't want to do all of this and then it turn out bad. It only hurts me when things don't turn out. I mean, what if we spend all this money and have all these procedures done and then we still can't make a child?""But what if we do all this and we do?" I close my eyes as I feel the tears come."I just don't now Harm. Why don't we discuss this at home later. I'm hungry and a bit agitated about a case right now, I'll be clear minded later." He drops it and that surprises me beyond words.Pulling up to McMurphy's, we get out of the car and go in.
Stepping over the threshold of the door, Harm and I walk in. As soon as the door shuts and the sun's glare disappears, I see something that, for no reason I can think of, cuts through me like a knife. Fox is sitting at a booth, right near the door, kissing Dana. Not just a sweet 'I'm-glad-you're-here' kiss, but a 'this-will-lead-to-more' kiss. I stop dead in my tracks and stare. I don't mean to, but for some reason, it still hurts. As I feel Harm clasp my hand and squeeze it, I divert my attention as if I never saw them, and walk towards the bar with him. We say hello to the bartender, order our usual drinks, and then take our seats at our usual booth. I don't want Harm to know they're here, to know that's why I stopped with my mouth hanging open, and I pray that they didn't see us. But as the waitress sits our drinks down in front of us, out of the corner of my eye, I see a red head walking towards me, with a tall dark handsome man in tow."Afternoon Sarah." I smile up at them, pretending to be shocked."Hello to you too Fox. Fancy seeing you two here. How are you both doing?""Better than ever." Dana makes it a point to put on the biggest smile and to lean over, extending her hand to Harm. Harm shakes it and smiles, not sure about the tension in the room. "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Dana Scully. You must be Harmon, I've read and heard so very much about you." He looks from me, to her, then back at me, not sure what to do. So I take over."Have you two eaten already?""We just finished." Fox answers me."Well, would you all like to join us for a drink before you head back to the bureau." Harm offers. And that makes me smile, to know that Harm is allowing a friendship between Fox and I."That would be nice." Dana replies. I stand and walk around the table, taking a seat next to Harm, allowing Fox and Dana to sit beside one another. Harm puts an arm around me and pulls me close to him, laying a kiss on my temple. I can see Fox's stare out of the corner of my eye and I know that Harm is doing as a dog would do, marking his territory. Smiling, I cuddle against him and watch as Scully puts her hand on top of Mulder's on the table. "So I take it all is well with you two?""Very much so." I answer. "And you two?""We're doing great." Fox answers, turning his hand over and clasping Scully's. "Happy as can be." I smile, but inside, I'm frowning. I love Harm and I'm glad it's him sitting beside me instead of Fox, but a part of me still loves him... and I don't know why. "What about you two?" Harm's grin gets bigger and he tightens his grip on me."We just moved in together." Fox is shocked to hear this, I can tell by the look on his face."That's great!" Dana replies. "We're just camping out at each other's apartments as of now. But I'm hoping for a house." And then (this makes me happy to say) Fox looks at her as if he's as surprised as I am. And I laugh."That's what we did at first." I lean over, cup Harm's face in my hand, and lay a passionate tongue-filled kiss on him.
*As I finally break the kiss, I can't help but let out a frustrated sigh as I see Sarah and Harm making their way towards the bar. I don't want to go over and say hi, but I know Sarah already saw us and I don't want to be rude. I look over at Scully and I can tell that she saw them too because the dazed look on her face vanishes and is replaced with a cold hard stare as her body instantly tenses. I take a deep breath. I lean over to Scully and whisper in her ear.* "It's okay. We'll just go over and say a quick hello since I know they saw us, and then we'll leave. I love you." *I whisper reassuringly in her ear. We make our way hand in hand over to their table.* "Afternoon Sarah." *I say with a polite smile and nod. She pretends to looked shocked to see us here, but I know damn well she saw us as soon she walked in. Who's she trying kid? She asks about how were doing and I politely answer her with as few words as possible, trying to speed things along. I wrap my arm around Scully's waist and tighten my grip as she leans over to introduce herself to Harm. Her tone is clipped and I know she's not happy at all to doing this right now. He invites us to join him for a drink and I'm surprised when Scully accepts the invitation. I know it's because she's curious about Sarah, but I'm afraid Scully will tear her to shreds if she says the wrong thing. I shoot Scully a look as she moves to sit down. She shoots me a look right back that says, "I want this bitch to know that I'm here to stay." I say nothing, simply move to sit beside her and smile when she rests her hand on mine on top of the table. Sarah asks me another question, and again I politely answer, as I turn Scully's hand over in mine and clasp it firmly. I bring her hand up to my lips to place a soft kiss on it before turning back the other couple. I don't want to be rude, so I ask them in turn how things are going with them. When Harm says they just moved in together, I'm a little shocked. Harm doesn't seem like the type of man to forgive so easy, but apparently I was wrong. But I'm happy for them nonetheless. I smile politely but it's Scully who suprises the hell out of me with an overzealous "That's great!" For some reason it reminds me of that time we went undercover as a married couple and I said that dolphins were tasty and Scully was forced to laugh to fill the awkward silence. I have no idea why, but that's what her tone reminded me of. She then informs them we've been camping out at each other's apartment, although I catch the snippiness in her tone. Apparently the tone is lost on Sarah though, not that I'm complaining. Then again, Scully has every right to be bitchy to this woman after what happened between us. I can't blame her there. I'm then taken by surprise when Scully says she's hoping for a house. I catch Sarah's eye and see the surprise register on her face as well, although I know it's for a different reason than why I'm surprised. She laughs and then responds to what Scully said, but I don't hear what she says exactly because I stopped listening when I heard Scully mention the house. I'm completely ignoring Sarah and Harm now as I focus my complete attention on Scully with a smile on my face. She is now given me her full attention as well and my smile broadens. I was surprised when Scully had said she was hoping for a house because she had never mentioned this to me. At least, not yet anyway. The reason I was so surprised was because I just bought a house intending to surprise her with it. I was going to ask her to move in with me later tonight when we were alone, but now seems like as good a time as any since she's just given me the perfect segue. I scoot closer to Scully in the booth, completely ignoring the other couple now. I take both her hands in mine as I gaze into her eyes, excited to see her reaction to my news. My eyes never leave her face as I speak.* "Scully, I was going to wait until tonight to tell you this, but...now seems like as good a time as any. Scully, I bought a house." *I simply say with a proud smile, ignoring the two pairs of eyes that I feel on me now as I anxiously anticipate her reaction.*
*I really am not happy to be here, these two people are the last two I really want to see or much less be having drinks with right now. But I love Mulder and I can tell he doesn't want to be rude by just getting up and walking out of here. So I'll go along with this and tolerate them. I have to force myself to smile as we walk up to them and I tell myself I'm going to be as nice to this woman as I possibly can. I have no reason whatsoever to be best buddies with her and her attitude towards me is really starting to tick me off. I mean who does this woman think she is? She comes in and sleeps with my partner and then expects me to be best friends? I do *not* think so. I am pulled out of my thoughts when she tells us that they have moved in together and I say the first thing that comes to mind.* "That's great!" *My voice is probably a little too enthuiastic, but I don't care what this bitch thinks about me, she slept with my partner. I then immediately come back with that we've been staying at each other's apartments, and call it a freduian slip but I blurt out that I was really hoping for a house. I feel Mulder's hand tighten in mind as he pulls me closer in the booth and I turn to look at him, wondering what he's up too. He then shocks the hell out of me when he announces that he has something to tell me and I think I feel my heart stop. Oh God Mulder, what are you about to do here? I look up into his eyes and hold my breath and I feel my eyes go wide as he announces he bought us a house. I'm shocked, beyond comparision. I look at him, trying to see if he's kidding but I then realize he is completely serious.* "Oh, Mulder..." *Completely forgetting about the couple in front of us, I move into him embrace hugging him tight as I cover his mouth with mine.*
I know that Mac wants us all to be friends (that's just the way that she is...thinking that she can save the world.....I love her for it, but sometimes I'm afraid that she'll be let down) but really the last thing that I want to do is socialize with these people. Dana seems nice enough, and we do have something in common, but I don't know if that would help or hinder a friendship. I was about to offer my congratulations on the house, but then the couple in front of me began making out.....I glance over at Mac and I can't help but notice the hint of hurt in her eyes. I sigh, not knowing how to react. I clear my throat softly, and offer up a friendly smile as the couple breaks apart. "Congratulations Dana," I bite the inside of my cheek as I mutter the other man's name, "Fox."
Something inside me breaks, a piece falls off the mantle and shatters. I don't know why this bothers me, to know that Harm and I are living together makes me happy, but to know that Dana and Fox will be too, it just... I don't know, changes things. If they go off and get married and move in together, I know that this little redheaded bitch is not going to allow us to have a friendship, to talk to one another, to see one another, and that kills me."Yeah, congratulations." I mumble heartlessly after Harm. I know that he saw the look in my eyes when Fox announces that he's bought Dana a house, I don't want him to think that I still want Fox, because I don't. Harm is the only man I want. But inside, a part of me still loves him.I feel Harm's grip tighten on me, and I look over at him. He's smiling and I smile back, as best I can. Leaning over, he kisses my temple and then leans down to my ear. "I love you." I close my eyes and nod, realizing that the couple in front of us doesn't even know we're there anymore."I love you too Harm." He doesn't know how much I want us all to be friends, if not friends, at least get along. I know that he and Dana would have a lot in common, they're both skeptics, and we could all have a good time together, if they would all just give it a chance. Sometimes I feel as if the world rests on my shoulders, and my shoulders alone.
*I finally pull away from Scully, breathless. Her reaction was all that I'd hoped it would be and more so. I hadn't quite expected that reaction, but it was a pleasant surprise. I lean over and whisper in her ear.* "Let's get out of here." *I pull back and smile at her suggestively. I then remember there is another couple sitting across from us, and I turn to them with a sheepish smile.* "I bought her a house." *I say proudly like it's no big deal. I'm so excited about this, but I'll wait until I'm alone with Scully and show her just how much.* "Thanks for inviting us, but we really should be going. We've got a lot of work to do." *I say as politely as I can. I stand up and take Scully's hand to help her out of the booth, not letting go once she is standing beside me.* "Harm, Sarah." *I say as I nod in their direction.* "See you around." *I simply say as I turn to look at Scully so we can get out of here.*
Harm's grip on me tightens even more as I nod a pleasant goodbye and watch them walk out of the restaurant. But for some reason, I feel as if he's walking out my life, not just McMurphy's."Hey..." Harm whispers. I'm sure he felt me shiver. "You okay?" I nod and lean against him, glad to have his strength with me."Yeah Harm, I'm finally okay. Because I'm with you." I look up at him and he smiles. Leaning down, he kisses me passionately, something hiding behind it, something saying that it could turn into more. I giggle as I feel his fingertips on my thigh."Wanna go back to the house and skip the rest of work today?""Harmon Rabb Jr.! Are you thinking about being rebellious?" I ask, as if I'm shocked as hell."Maybe..." He says, leaning down to my ear. "Our cases are done for the week, the new cases coming in can wait till morning. I'm sure that if we ask the Admiral he won't mind." I watch as he removes his cell from his pocket and hits speed-dial number two. "Admiral, it's Rabb. Do you mind if Mac and I take the afternoon off?" His hand clasps mine as he smiles over at me. "Yes Sir, our cases are done. ...And yes Sir, we will start fresh early in the morning. ...You too Sir." He hangs up, stands up, and pulls me out of the booth. "Come on Jarhead, let's go have some fun." I giggle and follow quickly behind.