FBI Building2200 ZULU"Harm, it obviously isn't here." I sighed and shrugged indigently. We'd been searching through the bureau's folders on a Lieutenant who had been shot recently. Little had we known when we'd heard the news that the feds had been on him for months. Yet, when we'd requested to see their files, they had refused. Hence the reason that, through a connection Harm had, we were snuck in by a man I had never met. We'd been searching for hours and had yet to find them. "Just give it up. They're not here!"
*Special Agent Dana Scully let out a frustrated breath as she followed her partner into the records room of the Bureau. She tucked a piece of auburn hair behind her ear as her eyes blazed.* "Mulder, why can't you just look at the fact? What about probable cause? What about time of death?" *She could go on and on and she would have if her parnter's eyes hadn't drifted off to something or someone that he seemed to find more interesting than her.* "Mulder, are you even listening to me?"
*Mulder had been busy arguing with Scully - again, as they headed into the records room. Things would be so much easier sometimes if she just readily believed like he did, but she always had to try and find a logical explanation for everything, and sometimes it frustrated the hell out of him. Most of the time she would come around to see his theory anyway, so why couldn't she just do that to begin with? He was only half-heartedly listening to her rant on and on about the case when they entered the records room and he stopped short. He saw two others standing in the records room pouring over files, and one of them he recognized instantly. It'd been a while since he'd seen her, but it was definitely her.* "Sarah?"
*Scully's eyebrow rose as she turned herself, to see who it was Mulder had spoken too. Two military officers sitting at a table, pouring over files. He heard Mulder behind her say, in an almost unsure voice the name Sarah and she watched as the female officer looked up quickly, her eyes focusing on Mulder. Scully wanted to know who this woman was and just how Mulder knew her name. She looked back at Mulder, expecting him to explain to her who this woman was, but me moved past her stepping closer to the woman, which annoyed her to no end.*
*His eyes were completely focused on her, and he was surprised to see her here, to say the least. He said her name, this time with a smile on his face as he stepped closer to you.* "Sarah! How are you?" *He moved towards the table as she stood up so he could hug her. He laughed when she called out "Fox!" They embraced each other for a second before pulling away again. He heard someone clear their throat and looked over to see the man that she was with stand up, giving him a cold stare. Mulder turned back to look at Scully so he could introduce the two women, but he found the same look on her face. She gave him an icy stare, a questioning look on her face. He realized she was pissed now, so he turned back to look at Sarah, uncertain smiles on both their faces.*
Looking up, I turned to see who the deep, sexy voice belonged to. "Fox William Mulder!" I stood and walked across the room, embracing him and smiling. The woman behind him gave me a look that could kill. "How are you?" I asked, pulling away. He smiled and hugged me once more. I couldn't believe we were standing in the same room together. He'd been the man who had convinced me to go up to Red Rock Mesa to dry out with Uncle Matt, the same man who I had promise to come home to, the same man who had proposed to me the night before I left and I had accepted, marrying him them morning after. I'd joined the corps after drying out, and before going off to Okinawa, went to visit him at Oxford. They'd informed me he'd finished school and went back to D.C., but he had failed to leave a forwarding address or number. I called his mother but the number had been disconnected. I'd searched for him for two years, never to find him, and had given up hope. Yet, my ring laid in the box it had come in beside my bed every night. For ten years, it laid there, not worn, but thought about so very often. And after seeing him, I began to question my heart. Dear Heart, saw Fox today, Harm was there. Prepare to shatter.I had deliberately lied to Harm and to everyone else about Chris. My chance in the Corps would have been ruined had they found out about my marriage to a man like Mulder, a man so against the military that he would've died to put them down. And I doubted that he'd even want to be with me after I'd joined the Corps, but I had to, it was what I needed to get me thru my alcoholism. But Chris has been a lie, and if Harm or the Corps found out, I'd never be forgiven and my life, would be torn apart.
*He still couldn't believe she was standing in front of him after all these years. This was the woman he'd loved and married, then just disappeared one day, never to return again. He'd searched for her but never could find her. He'd even worn his ring for years, hoping that she'd come back to him day. It was part of the reason he'd stayed in DC, hoping she would find him, but it obviously wasn't meant to be, and one day he'd finally took his ring off, but he'd always kept it. He didn't know what else to say, but he could feel Scully glaring a hole into the back of his head, so he figured he'd better introduce the two. He loved Scully, he really did, but he couldn't help but feel the old emotions stir up in him at the sight of Sarah. They had never gotten their closure. He looked from Sarah to Scully.* "Sarah, I'd like you to meet my...um...partner, Dana Scully."
The woman standing before my was absolutely breathtaking. She was petite and looked as if she were one tough nut, but her blue eyes were easy, her smile forced, and her read hair made her appear fiery. Sticking out my hand, I shook hers. "Nice to meet you. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie." Her forced smile scared me and made me feel odd and naked, but I was in front of Fox, nothing else in the world mattered right then.
*I had not said a single word, just stood there with my arms crossed watching the scene before me as Mulder hugged this woman like she was some important figure in his life. The way he held her close made my gut clench, knowing he had just so recently held me the same way. I closed my eyes and tried to not let my jealously overtake me. When Mulder turned, his hand on the woman's elbow, I had to force myself to smile at her as Mulder introduced us. His partner, huh? That's not what you said last night *Agent* Mulder. I pushed those thoughts away and forced myself to be nice to the woman in front of me, responding.* "Dana Scully, it's a pleasure." Yeah right, I thought really wanting to know who this woman is. She then looked back at Mulder as if expecting him to explain to her the mystery of this woman.*
Looking at Mulder, I figured he'd tell me more about their 'partnership,' but he just turned and smiled at me. I smiled back and met his eyes. Everything around us disappeared, it was just me and him in that room, together, alone, after ten years. Reaching up, I laid a hand against his five o'clock shadow, and leaned in, kissing him gently on the lips. I whimpered against his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck when he wrapped his around my waist. And in that moment, I was in Heaven.
*My eyes go wide and I feel my heart break as I see this woman reach up and kiss him and then my heart breaks as I see Mulder's hands slide around her waist and kiss her back. I feel the tears well in my eyes as I stand there, too tramuatized to do anything as I see her start to kiss him deeper. I couldn't believe this was happening. It takes a moment for it to sink in and then suddenly I grab Mulder's arm and pull him away from her.* "Mulder! What the hell?!"
*She kissed me, and before I could realize what was happening, or even stop myself, I was kissing her back, oblivious to the other people around us. I quickly found myself getting lost in her kiss as I slid my arms around her waist. She deepened the kiss and I didn't pull away, just felt my body melting into hers. I vaguely recall hearing someone say my name in the background, and I realize instantly that it's Scully, but only too late. She pulls me free of Sarah and I'm torn between my old love and my new one. Scully is asking my what the hell is going on, and as I lock gazes with Sarah, I feel there is only one thing left to say.* "Scully, I'd like you to meet my wife."
*My eyes go wide as I stare at the two of them, my heart sinking.* "You..you're wife?" * I am then suddenly angry, angry for his lies and the fact that our relationship had been nothing more than a lie.* "You son of a bitch!" * I reach out and slap him across the face as hard as I can.*
Grabbing Scully's hand before she hits him one more time, I turn her towards me. "Let us explain! We haven't seen each other in ten years! Dana!" But to my shock, this 5'2 petite little redhead, gets out of my grasp and pushes me up against the wall hard. I close my eyes and yelp in pain. And before I know it, my world goes black.
*I silently watch this exchange, too stunned to move and my cheek stings like hell from where Scully hit me. She's gonna hit me again, she always did have a great right hook, and I brace myself, but Satah's arm reaches out to stop her. I'm a little thankful, but as Sarah tries to explain, Scully shoves her into the wall, and I watch her sink to the ground as she blacks out.* "Sarah!" *I run to her side immediately, trying to make sure she's okay, but she seems to be unconscious and that scares me.* "Scully, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Get over her and help me, NOW!" *I scream at her with anger. The other man in the room rushes over to help me but I push him away, and now he looks more than pissed too. In fact, he looks like he's ready to kick the shit out of me, but I don't care. I scoop Sarah up into my arms and carry her over to the table to lay her on it so I can examine her better, make sure she's okay.*
*The tears stream down my face, but I do not go to him. I just stand back and start to yell at him, while he fawns over his precious Sarah.* "No, you know what Mulder? Screw you! I can' believe you! I can't believe you were married and didn't tell me, I thought I was your best friend! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us? I...I can't believe this..." *My last words break off as I turn my back, not being able to face them as I feel the tears streaming down my face. I'm so hurt.*
When I awake, Harm is standing over me and Fox is nowhere to be found. I try to sit up but I have a huge headrush and fall back down. "Don't try to get up." Harm tells me. "Where's Fox?" I ask. Harm smiles and leans down, kissing my forehead. "He and Dana went out to talk for a while. We're supposed to meet them at McMurphy's in an hour. When you're capable of walking." I nod and look into his eyes. "Now, do you care to explain to me what the hell is going on?!?" I close my eyes once more and lay my head back against the table.
*I look over Sarah to make sure she is alright before going over to the gentleman she was with and explaining things to him. He doesn't look happy about it, but agrees to tell her that we'll all meet up at McMurphy's in an hour. I walk over to Scully and grab her upper arm in my hand, steering her towards the door.* "Scully, can I speak to you outside please?" *I don't wait for her to answer, just steer her out the door. She's clearly upset and I don't want her causing another scene. I turn back to look over my shoulder once more at Sarah, and I see her partner standing over her, his face full of concern as he gently brushes the hair out of her face. Looks to me like they are more than just working partners, but that will have to wait till later. Right now I really have to talk to Scully.*
*Mulder steers me out of the research room and into the hallway. My eyes are still full of tears and my heart is actually aching. I see him look back at that woman lying on the table again before he finally focuses his attention on me. I jerk my arm away from him and look at him clearly hurt by the sudden turn of events. I put my hands on my hips and say very softly.* "Why Mulder? Why didn't you tell me? I thought you trusted me. I'm so hurt right now Mulder, God, I'm so angry..." *I broke off as another sob bubbled up from my throat and I had to turn away from him, covering my mouth with my hand. I was so embarassed at my crying, but I thought me had loved me like I had loved him. Boy, was I wrong.*
*She starts crying and I reach out to comfort her, but she pulls away from me, and I know I've really screwed things up this time. She keeps her back turned to me so I don't see her cry, but it's still killing me inside. I try my best to explain to her what the hell just happened back there.* "Scully..." *I start, only to stop myself to regroup.* "Scully I'm sorry. I do trust you. It's just... I couldn't tell you, not about Sarah. Scully, I couldn't tell you because it hurt too much. I loved her, she was my wife, then one day she had just disappeared, never to be heard from again. It nearly killed me Scully, that's how much it hurt. And when I saw her again, just now, it brought all those old feelings of unclosure. I...I don't know what else to say Scully. I'm sorry, I really am."
*I hear his words and I feel my heart sink. I've lost him. I've lost him forever. I slowly turn back to face him and wipe at my eyes, my make up is probably smeared by now but I could care less. I take a shuddery breath and force myself to speak.* "I...I can't hear this, Mulder. I'm sorry, I'm going to need some time...if you only knew how I am hurting on the inside." * I then move to turn around, to walk away from him but I stop when I feel him put a hand on my arm and plead for me not to go. I close my eyes.* "Mulder, I have too..."
"Scully please... Don't go..." *I grab her arm and beg her to stay, to hear me out and understand me, but she doesn't seem to want any part of it.* "Please Scully, you can't just walk out on me. I need some time, just some time to deal with this and process it all. Please... That's all I'm asking. I do love you Scully, I do. But right now, I just need to time to sort this all out. That doesn't mean I want to lose you. Please Scully, I'm begging you, please don't leave me..." *I continue to plead with her, not wanting to lose the best thing in my life, and I've never been more desperate in my life. I watch her as she closes her eyes to shut out my pleas, and I don't know what else to do.*
*He sounds so desperate that it makes me hold back. I keep my eyes closed as I bring my hand up to rub at my forehead, not knowing what to do. I'm so angry at him for not telling me about this aspect of his life. I have no secrets from him, I remember that night I had confided to him about my past affair with Daniel, I've told him about Jack and he couldn't even tell me about his WIFE! Hearing this again, just makes me even more angry and I turn back to him, my eyes blazing. I step up to him forcing him to back against the wall as I press a finger into his chest.* "Why should I?! Please, give me a reason why I shouldn't just march up to Skinner for a resignation this instant and get as far away from you as I can so you can spend the rest of your life with your little marine wife! Don't you understand Mulder?! How bad this hurts?!"
*I'm taken by complete surprise as she backs me against the wall and starts screaming at me. I didn't expect her to off like this, and now there's just no reasoning with her. I try to explain, but she just doesn't seem to be listening.* "Scully, it's not like that!" *I say with my hands in front of me for defense.* "We were married years ago, and then we somehow just drifted apart, and I never knew what happened. It was yet another unsolved mystery of my life, and it hurt like hell when it finally ended. I didn't think I could love again till I met you. So if you're asking me if *I* understand, then yes, I understand perfectly clear. It hurts now with you just as much as it hurt back then with her. Don't you think that I'm hurting too? Have you even considered what this is doing to me?!" *I'm starting to get angry now and I know this will get us nowhere, but I just can't help it.* "No! You haven't even thought about that, have you! You've been so worried about your feelings that you never even considered mine! This is tearing me up inside Scully! It's not like I want to hurt you, yet somehow I still am! Dammit!" *I yell out in frustration as I tip my head back towards the ceiling, covering my face with my hands.*
*I turn away from him, not being able to look at him as the tears continue to spill from my cheeks.* "I loved you so much Mulder, but I don't know if I can go on like this...I just don't know..." *She hung her head, burying her face in her hands sobbing softly.*
*There's nothing else for me to do, I don't know what else to say.* "Fine Scully, if that's the way you want it, then take some time to think things through. I don't know what else I can do. But know this Scully, I *do* love you, and I'm truly sorry." *And with that I walk away, back to my basement office where I can do some major thinking.*